Core beliefs can be defined as “strongly-held, rigid, and inflexible beliefs that are maintained by the tendency to focus on information that supports the belief and ignoring evidence that contradicts it.” (https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/-/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Depression/Depression—Information-Sheets/Depression-Information-Sheet—12—What-are-Core-Beliefs.pdf)

One of my biggest core beliefs was that I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough to receive good things in life. Reading that sentence at this point in my life really makes me so sad, I mean… How was that even a thought in my mind or anyone’s mind to be exact? Well, that was our next ‘project’ in therapy. Let’s figure out how to combat those thoughts and gain some confidence.

My therapist had me write down things I truly thought to my core and the next step was to challenge them. One of the very first things I started doing was I started writing myself little sticky notes of encouragement on my bathroom mirror. Those were actually left up there until I moved in 2022. Some notes included “You are doing a great job” “You are exactly where you need to be” “I am deserving” and my favorite (I wrote this when I was really feeling myself one day) “DAYUM GIRL”.

The next step was to challenge my beliefs. For one… I had wonderful things in life! A great job, I was meeting a bunch of new people who seemed to enjoy my company just as much as I enjoyed theirs and I had so many people in my life who already loved me for just being me, not based off how I looked or how cool I was. Again.. The whole point of my therapy journey was to retrain my brain to be more positive and to knock out all of the negativity. I was letting the negativity consume me for far too long and it was evident when it took years to fully retrain my brain.

This took a very long time to retrain my brain. It took a very long time for my therapist and I to figure out exactly what my core beliefs were and how to combat them when I wasn’t having actual thoughts of “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not pretty enough”, it was far more complex than that. I will say, one thing that truly forced me to gain more confidence was living in a state where, at the time, I only had a few friends.

So I started taking myself out more by shopping, dining alone, grabbing drinks alone etc.. I started just going up to folks and talking to them. Over time this did away with my social anxiety and started really building up my confidence and believing I truly was good enough just the way I am. I will say though.. Now.. you can’t get me to STOP talking. By pushing myself to meet loads of new people I gained this fascination with getting to know all sorts of different people from all over the world! Truly, humans are so very interesting once you put all your own shit behind you and really engage in conversation.

Rewiring your brain is super hard & I will always stand on that BUT it is possible to gain a new outlook on life and a whole new confidence in who you are. It will not happen overnight, there is no quick fix you just have to continue to hold yourself accountable until one day all of the pieces fit together.

So now comes my challenge for you. Start your day with affirmations. “I am worthy” “I am good enough” “I can do hard things” or whatever your mind comes up with. Repeating these to yourself, even if you may not believe them at first, will help in creating a whole new you. Someone who in a couple years from now can look back at past you, feel bad for her or him but also feel so proud for all of the things she OR he has overcome!

Remember you ARE worthy of love & greatness.

Meg